


He Really Should Have Known

by elluvias



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Ori is adorable, Sadness, Unrequited Love, as always, wanna hug him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-12
Updated: 2013-06-12
Packaged: 2017-12-14 18:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elluvias/pseuds/elluvias
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ori really should have known.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Really Should Have Known

**Author's Note:**

> Got inspired by some pictures I saw on tumblr from the very very talented Kaciart. Angst happened...but I sort of gave a happy ending. I hopefully gave a happy ending. This is only a short ficlet.

He really should have known. That day when Fili had rejected him, rejected his courting gift gently, telling him that there was another. Ori should have known then. Ori should have pieced together all the little hints, the signs. He was supposed to be the clever one of the three of them, the smart one. The one who saw everything and understood when everyone else didn’t.

The fact it didn’t surprise him, the fact his heart only had a hollow ache inside was testament that he had known already, unconsciously. His heart had recognized who Fili had loved. And really Ori couldn’t compete with Kili, not in looks or personality or anything else. Everyone preferred Kili. Who was he but an apprentice scholar wearing jumpers knitted by his brother? He wasn’t a prince, he wasn’t even handsome. He was cute by dwarven standards but nowhere near the exotic almost elvish beauty Kili had.

He must be broken in some fundamental way. He was sad, he felt heartbroken, but he didn’t find anger in this revelation. It was just quiet resignation. Dori told him that dwarves always got angry when their hearts were broken, that having their pride bruised would lead to messes. It'd never been that way for Ori, anger was something he only felt when others got hurt or if someone messed up his notes or destroyed his sketchbooks. Anger had never come when people had teased him for his bookish nature or his fondness for sweaters or letting Dori cut his hair.

Anger didn’t come now when the afterimage of Fili’s embrace of his brother still burned in his mind.

He loved Fili, perhaps, maybe Fili could have been his One. But Ori wasn’t, and Ori knew…it was taboo. This relationship between Kili and Fili. They could be hurt, they would face censure, they would be mocked…

Bringing his thumb to his lip he bit down hard, hard enough for flesh to give way and blood to well up. He tasted it for a moment before he brought his bleeding finger out.

“I swear by the blood Mahal gave me, and the Stone that birthed me and to which I will one day return, that I will protect them.”

The crimson drops fell to the ground and Ori watched as his heart beat too hard in his chest, like a little bird trapped in a too small cage.

“I will keep them safe.”

His voice was a trembling whisper, but the oath was heard by Mahal. Ori could feel the weight settling down upon his shoulders, like a piece of armor that was far too big for him to supposedly carry. Ori was strong enough though, everyone in clan ‘Ri was strong. They were the strongest dwarves in the Blue Mountains, Dori the undisputed arm wrestling champion four decades and still going strong and that only happened because Nori stopped entering and making it always end in a tie. This Oath he would carry, he’d shoulder it proudly, even if it was a secret for now and would remain such if Ori had his way.

It was his Oath that carried him to signing the contract to go to Erebor. It was his Oath that had him ignoring the painful gut wrenching pulls he felt towards their little hobbit. It was his Oath that had him resolutely staring at the ground even when the hobbit, his Bilbo, was mocked and teased, bullied and belittled. No matter how much he wanted, no matter how much his heart ached to pull Bilbo close and soothe his emotional hurts.

He was a liability. He nearly got Fili and Kili killed with the trolls, he distracted them all during battle. Ori wanted, but Ori’s Oath was more important.

It held his back straight even as Fili lay on a cot, broken and bloodied, close to dying. Kili was unconscious but improving and Fili…Fili was…

“I loved…love…you. I always have.” Ori’s voice was soft as he stared at Fili’s back. “Ever since we were children. It used to be romantic, perhaps it might still be in some ways. You’re very beautiful Fili, you shine brighter than anyone else I’ve ever met. When you rejected me back in Ereid Luin it hurt, it hurt a lot because… I care about you, loved you. You’ve always been important to me, as much as my family ever has been.” Fiddling with his mitten Ori swallowed thickly. “And I know I’m not your One. I’ve never had an illusions of that…but I know who is. I’ve known for years now and its okay. It is, because if I were a bit different maybe I’d have fallen for him too. I swore an Oath back then, when I found out, I’d protect you both. It’s what you’re supposed to do when you love people, isn’t it? And I have, as best as I could, I’ve protected you both. Never asking for more or even imagining that it’d give me anything. I don’t need recognition…but you need to wake up. You need to get better and wake up and be strong for your One. You need to be safe… because…”

Ori felt his tears falling from his eyes. Mahal he shouldn’t be talking, he should be silent like always. He needed to be strong, needed to be the protector once more. He shouldn’t be selfish, but he was.

“I want to be with my One now too. If you die I’ll be sad but your One will be broken and he’ll never be safe and I’ll never get any rest. I love you Fili, I love you a lot, you’re my friend and I trust you and wake up please. Please because He needs you and I need my One. I want to go to my hobbit but I can’t leave your side til you’re safe. So get better, get better right now Fili or I’ll be very cross with you.”

Sniffling into the sleeve of his dirty bloodstained cardigan Ori tried to keep his emotions under control. He tried to calm his heart, to contain the tempestuous emotions wanting to break free.

And when Fili’s eyes opened, a tormented expression on his face Ori couldn’t help the sobs that broke free from his throat. Fili had probably been awake the whole time, listening to Ori ramble on as always. He really should have known.


End file.
